Jon's Catwalk Report - Milan Men's Fashion Week Part II

With my fashion sense adequately lubricated with a $10 bottle of rioja, let me now embark upon the next installment of my catwalk report. Today we shall have a look at the offerings of Alexander Mcqueen and the lads Dolce and Gabbana.

Mr Mcqueen is regarded as one of the most prodigous talents in the fashion firmament, a claim readily confirmed by his brilliant and at times, breathtaking women's collections (watch this space in a month or so). So can he bring the same magic to the staid and predictable world of menswear? The three outfits below upon first glance dont seem to say much but closer inspection reveals a rather nuanced beauty in line and proportion. Notice how the pieces seem relaxed but still retain a confident structure and line. This should come as no surprise to us of course given Mcqueen's training at Anderson and Sheppard (a well known bespoke tailor on Saville Row).























































So by now we're all thinking "ho hum, beautiful line blah blah blah, but where's the good stuff?". This is Mcqueen after all and we've all come to expect a little bit of drama. So here it is:





































So the first outfit appears to comprise of two parts bee-keeper and three parts Picnic at Hanging Rock. One half expects the poor fellow to frolick down the runway screaming "Miranda?! Miraaanda?!!!". We are amused. The following outfit on the other hand is little more wearable , being black and all. I must say I'm quite fond of the plunging neckline. It might prove quite pleasant in the summer heat, especially in more humid conditions. Besides you can always cover it up by wearing something interesting underneath. Overall, a job well done, but my world was not rocked to say the least.

Now, on to the summer stylings of messirs Dolce and Gabbana. Now before we talk about the clothes lets just deal with these first





































Alright. With them out of the way we can focus on whats really important, the rather unfortunate fashion. Now it is quite clear that Dolce and Gabbana want us to have a very sporty and active summer with their incoporation of sportswear fabrics in their collection. However, it is not readily apparant why they want us to look like Vin Diesel playing a fluffer on the set of "Berlin Dungeon IV". Repeat after me, "Would you like to touch my shiny shiny?". There, dont you want to have a shower after saying that? I know I do.





































Now I really dont have a grudge against Dolce and Gabbana. They do make some very nice clothes now and then. But really, this is fashion for the stupid.



















Thats all from me for now. Stay tuned for more men's fashion commentary later in the week!

Matlab and Me

Sometimes I tell people that I fell down the stairs. Other times I say I walked into a door. I know he only hurts me because he loves me.

Jon's Catwalk Report - Milan Men's Fashion Week Part I

So in today's news, Israeli forces are about to storm Gaza, the Timorese Prime Minister resigned following a bloody two month power struggle and the Lord's Resistance Army continues to rampage across northern Uganda.

But lets talk about something really important. Thats right, its time for the inaugural Fashion Catwalk Report! Today we're kicking things off with the Men's shows happening this week in Milan.

Here we have the latest offerings from Burberry Prorsum, the elite Burberry line that the chavs and the slappers from the suburbs can't afford. After years of ultra low hip and crotch grazing styles, a pubic hegemony if you will, it seems that Mr Bailey (the creative director of Burberry) is offering us some relief in the form of high waisted pants, further accentuated with skinny belts fixed high above the navel.







































I must say this stuff looks pretty cool and wearable. I'm quite partial to mix of greys, tan and green, and the interesting little details which tread the thin line between luxury and vulgarity. Besides, everybody loves a sparkly silver cardigan.







































Now, moving swiftly on to Prada. One can't help but raise an eyebrow (or two if you can't manage just the one) when you look at this stuff. First of all, who on earth wears short shorts? Moreover, I dont think she's doing a particularly good job in convincing us that we should wear short shorts. Just add a pair of wooly socks and Birkenstoks and voila! German tourist.







































Now its clear that this lady is trying very hard to be modern and I must say, the results are pretty hit and miss. The bright orange jacket is rather awesome, especially paired with the green shiny shoes but it all looks at bit late 80's/early 90's rave, especially the stone colored shirt with the half sleeves.







































Let's finish today with the sartorial stylings of Vivienne Westwood. Now I reckon Vivi has been in pretty good form of late. As you can see, the tailoring is pretty darn impressive, and it goes to show it is possible to put something a little bit fancy on a guy and still have him look like a bloke.







































This is classic Vivi. Really cool shapes and a whole lotta subversion.







































Now that said, Vivi also shows us that it is also very possible to put something fancy on a guy and have him look like:







































But hey, its her shtick. Dont be hatin. Besides, we all know that Elton John is going to buy it anyway. Well thats enough fashion for one day! Stay tuned for the next update in a day or two!

This Is Why I Love Fashion

Knitty Project

I'm knitting a scarf using handspun tassar silk worked in with grey lambswool.

America Is Mad

So here I am on a rather dismal rainy Saturday morning, trying desperately to ignore my hangover with the help of the 'Fashion and Style' section of the New York Times, when I stumble upon a rather perplexing article about the rise of the New York socialite as a means of high end fashion advertising. No longer content with peddling their goods on the microdermabraised backs of celebrities, luxury brands are now including young socialites in their advertising campaigns. With absurd names like Tinsley Mortimer and Aerin Lauder Zinterhofer, these ladies form the new vanguard of American aspiration. Like celebrities, they are rich, thin and polished to an inch of their lives. The only difference it seems is that it is even less apparent why we should look up to them, let alone try to imitate them. Reading on, I discovered that the commodifaction of these socialites is made even more complete with the existence of a plublished social ranking. This is ridiculous. Quite frankly this could very well be one of the most perverse manifestations of meritocracy since infant beauty pagents. I suppose this is what happens when you give puritans way too much money.

JonBenet, meet Tinsley.

When it all gets a bit much

Ever had one of those weeks where you feel a little unhinged? When it all seems a little strange and disconcerting and you have no idea why? Well, it has been one of those weeks.

So I find my mind wandering and unfocused, rambling obsessively and incapable of articulating any concrete desire. I shudder to think that I have succumbed to an episode of postmodern angst and ennui. I think I'm going to rent a copy of the Joy Luck Club, get drunk and bawl my eyes out.

It has been one of those weeks.