Mea Culpa: October 2007

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Ingmar tagged me for this meme a while back. So here they are:

1. To this day, I find still find The Exorcist too terrifying to watch.

2. As a child, I used to pinch the bridge of my nose in the vain hope that it wouldn't grow flat.

3. I got to strut around on stage in a purple toga as Pontius Pilate in my high school's production of Andrew Lloyd Weber's Jesus Christ Superstar.

4. I've used the word incandescent to describe several of my moods and yet I can't work out a way to introduce the phrase "cooter slam" into my daily lexicon.

5. I'm a poor aural learner. When listening intently to someone speak I have a tendency to look away in order to concentrate.

6. It took me about a year to REALLY get over my last relationship.

7. I 'shop' for West Village apartments and brownstones on my lunch breaks.

8. I dragged my parents to go see Priscilla: Queen of the Desert on my 14th birthday. And they LOVED it.

Out on a Limb With Fingers Outstretched

So the past few weeks I've found myself in the same situation over and over again. Dressed immaculately with my hair done just so, a half smile on my face and doing all I can to exude the easygoing charm and confidence of a functional, competent and engaging human being while at the same time subjugating the multitude of neuroses and that creeping feeling of inadequacy that all overachievers are invariably saddled with. The smalltalk tends to be my undoing. I've never quite mastered the art of chit chat, a skill that mid-western women seem to possess in great abundance. I can't help but marvel when I hear them on the street or as they are being led to their table at a restaurant.

"Oh, where am I going? This is nice. Look at those candles, aren't they just spectacular. Are the tables mahogany or oak? Do I turn left? Is Nancy behind you Fred? I'm so hungry. I'm glad we found this place. Have you been open long? We don't have to walk too far to get back to the hotel....."

And they just keep on going. Always ready to produce a cordial, anodyne white noise of pithy observations, rhetorical questions, cheerful slogans and excerpts from their inner monologue.

But I digress.

I want this person to like me. To remember me. To call me. I am doing my best to be myself. Well, the witty, intriguing, little sparkle shine out of my smile self. I want to do this right and I know I have to believe. And if it doesn't work out, I have to go right out and put myself out there again. Somethings gotta stick, right?

Job interviews suck.